Evan rockin' out on Guitar Hero III!
Well inspired by Wendy's blog about parenting...I've decided to share some of our "off moments" - for lack of a better way to say it. Some questionable parenting "tactics", some situations that I refuse to be drawn into and the overall chaos trying to parent six kids...
I hear "How do you do it?" quite frequently. Here's the best answer that I can give these baffled people.
1. Have a sense of humor.
2. Don't sweat the small stuff.
3. Pick your battles.
4. Leave your expectations with the maternity clothes.
Having a sense of humor is critical when your patience is at the bottom of the ninth and your little "batter" is fresh off the bench. 18 hour lipstick all over your childs face (never mind that the tube cost you $20 or better) is something to laugh over. Watching your child attempt to "clean up" their mess before you see it is something to laugh over. Above all - when the school calls you and asks you to explain some eclectic behavior that your little angel has been exhibiting - is something to laugh over. Anything but a life can be replaced or fixed. Most of the time, what you may screech over today, will be stories told laughing around the dinner table tomorrow.
Don't sweat the small stuff is REALLY critical when trying to organize a family outing. As anyone with kids is aware - the Normandy invasion was probably easier to coordinate than this feat. So your daughters hair is not how you would like it. So your son wants to wear snow boots with his shorts. Big deal if the purse full of Polly Pockets CAN NOT be left at home. You just bring a bigger bag with a brush, extra shoes and plenty of space to toss in the overflowing Polly purse. This two minute fix is faster than the 20 minute meltdown and HOURS of endless pouting. Take the hard line ONLY when it matters most. Everything else is irrelevant.
Picking your battles is a harder tactic to employ. Daughters have an uncanny way of digging an issue under your skin until you want to wring their little necks. I admit, I will often take a stance based on how far my daughters are willing to force the issue. Fair - probably not - but I'm the Mommy, not the fairness police. I'm a BIG advocate of "deal with the outcome of your choices".
Parent have all sorts of expectations about their kids. The problem that most Mommies have is that they carry the same expectations for each child. Every one of them is different - and so should your expectations for that child. For example - Manny is a bright kid - he just can't put it onto paper. A "C" is a celebrated thing. I would never put the expectation of straight "A"'s to this child, as it is not a realistic goal - BUT Allyson better not have anything under a "B" because that is what she is capable of.
Is any parenting tactic fool proof? No way. So - just to air some of my dirty laundry...
A. I'm pretty positive that all of my kids have ran with a sucker in their mouth. God knows they roam around the neighborhood with them hanging off their faces!
B. My kids all used pointy scissors before they were 3. I hide them all I want, but my kids have craft box radar and used all the goodies found inside to "decorate" things pretty early!
C. I - GASP - allowed my kids to play with things that WOULD HAVE fit through a toilet paper tube before they were 3. With Evan, Lego's kept me sane most days!
D. Most of the kids have watched PG-13 movies. If you think that they don't hear anything in these movies at school - pull the bag off of your head. It's there, you are just in denial. The reality is that the words are pretty common on the playground and even at the park.
E. Most of the time, their socks don't exactly match. I gave up on this master feat after collecting an entire hamper full of unmatched socks. Before you ask - no I don't know where they all go. Most of the time, MY socks don't exactly match either.
F. I am not above hiding the "good" hair products from my daughters. The oldest is 12. She'll get by just fine with Suave products.
G. I listen to unedited music. Again, even with the words bleeped out, they can figure it out. It doesn't take a rocket scientist - and my kids are pretty slick!
H. We live in organized chaos. My house is rarely "company ready". I'm OK with that. The time I spend with my kids are more important to me than a spotless home. When they look back on childhood, I want them to say that they spent a lot time with their mom - not that we never had toothpaste on the mirror!
I. Yes, they play video games. Sometimes even on a school night!
That concludes my parenting rant. My best advice: every family is different - you use what works for you!
That concludes my parenting rant. My best advice: every family is different - you use what works for you!
2 comments:
I love this post. It is very real and true to life. Picking your battles is a moto I live by. It doesn't mean I'm letting my kids run the roost, but I don't want to spend all my energy fighting over the little stuff.
You sound alot like me, Em. I just do the best I can and I let the kids know that. I accept the fact that they are real actual human beings with a mind of their own. They are smart enough to know what word has conveniently been bleeped out of the song. Everyday is an adventure and we're just trying to figure it out and have the best time possible as we go - TOGETHER. I understand that we're ALL learning from each other every day.
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