Kind of hard to read with the dog ON the book - eh?I need to vent a wee bit about ADHD and the choices that I make as a parent for my children that have it. I would first like to state that this is my opinion - based off of the research and experiences that I have personally had. If you don't want to read about it - STOP HERE.
1. ADHD is a very real disease. It is not psychological, it is physiological. Simply put, a properly diagnosed ADHD childs (or adults) brain does not function as a "normal" brain functions. Since the word "normal" has a broad range of definitions - I will acknowledge that fact and not expound. Moving on...
2. There are many diseases that affect the brain, and it is socially OK to have and USE medications to treat these ailments. For ADHD, you become a pariah if you choose to medicate your child - EVEN THOUGH it is needed.
3. The public at large believes that it is very simple to diagnose and place your child on medications. "Mom can't handle the kid - the kid goes on Ritalin." PLEASE allow me to explain our experience...
At 6, we attempted to have our daughter diagnosed. This took about 4 weeks...and we were fast-tracked. It was felt at the time that she would not require medication because this could be a "maturity issue", and not a manifestation of her disease. In school, she fell farther and farther behind. All of 1st grade was lost, sieved through her brain. Mid-way through 2nd grade, upon starting medications through our PCP (it took the entire first 4.5 months of the school year, numerous doctor appointments and documentation from her teacher - that sweetheart), she FINALLY started to retain what she learned. It took a YEAR AND A HALF. If you have a disease that affects your life function - would this be acceptable?
4. Before the head shaking begins, allow me to point out the fact that I am stringent about her activities to burn off her excess energies(even with the meds), her diet and keep a close eye on her school work. This is a daily struggle, and not for sissies. It is not a cop out. It would be FAR easier to let her schoolwork slide, allow her speak however (and whenever and whatever) she likes and go through life a social disaster. I could allow her to become a potential prison statistic, for she would go nowhere without an education. NEWSFLASH (and a very good point from my neighbor Kelly): In ten years you WILL need a degree to work at McDonalds.
5. Keeping your child on medication is a go-to-the-doctor-once-a-month ordeal. This is not a simple or affordable process, even with insurance. DO NOT tell me that I'm taking the easy way out. This is far more complicated than one might expect, and for the safety of the children utilizing the medications. We went into this with eyes wide open. I would rather go through this now, than watch the downward spiral of self medication that is so prevalent among ADHD sufferers as adults. Again, don't tsk-tsk me. I have lived this, and if requested will provide the details...
How can I measure the success of my approach? Seeing her face light up when I open her report card, hearing the phone ring and knowing that it is a friend calling for her, getting sleepover invitations (prior to meds, she had NONE), getting invited to birthday parties, seeing her achieve her athletic goals...just to name a few. I am proud of what she is able to accomplish with the help of her medication. I am proud that she now has the ability to learn how to become a good citizen and friend. I am proud that she is being judged on her true mind and heart as without the medication she is a flurry of activity that is unable to engage, hold a conversation or retain information.
I am proud of, and WILL defend, the choices that I have made for her. Most of all, I am proud of how far she has come through her ADHD, and how far she will go with the positive traits that it brings to her life.
4 comments:
Good for you Em. Sometimes our convictions and then our decisions is all we really have when it comes to our kids. Medicating your child is never an easy decision I'm sure. I'm sure you've made the decision that is BEST for your child!
Okay what's going on, why are venting about this? Has someone said something? You know you made the right choice with Jilly. I think even she knows that. It's unlike you to worry about what others say.
Not worried...just got into ANOTHER hot discussion on the ADHD medication wars. This naturally occured AFTER this person had to loudly comment about Jillys activity level - enough to put tears in her eyes. At that point, I verbally plastered her to the wall and kept her there. This post is my middle finger in retrospect!!
Jilly does realize that the medication helps her, and even told the doctor that she needs it to focus in school. She also realizes that this is something that she will live with for the rest of her life, and is learning to use it's few advantages in her favor :O)
Thanks, Michelle, I was thinking the SAME THING while reading this post. As Jilly's grandmother, and likely a small contributor of her ADHD (so says Emily :o))I am PROUD of Jilly's progress and am VERY PROUD of her mother for doing something about it. Most people would simply write that behavior off as "hyper" or "she's just a bad kid" because "they could never have a kid with ADHD". Well guess what - people need to wake the hell up and love their children enough to not just look at them every day but to SEE them and to KNOW their children - and love them enough to help them, no matter what it takes.
I hope you DID nail that person to the wall. And I'd love to have a go myself.........
Gooma
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